Tempted but not defeated

Temptations, whether you overcome them or not, have a way of reminding you of your vulnerabilities.  That you’re not invincible.  And even that the things you don’t expect to be a temptation can actually surprise you in the moment.

The End.

Well, no, not really.  These thoughts came from somewhere, right?  OK, here’s what prompted this post.

The other evening, I pulled into a parking spot and started to open my car door.  A sudden gust of wind (yes, I’m blaming the weather) pulled my door faster and farther than I planned and BAM! made firm contact with the car door in the next spot. The red mark from my car door was pretty obvious on their white vehicle.

I am ashamed that my first thought was to leave.  I actually looked around to see if anyone noticed but I didn’t see anyone.  I considered moving to another spot or even just going home.  I even went as far as starting my car and shifting into reverse.

But my conscience wouldn’t let me actually leave.  I fought with myself over it.  I didn’t want to face the driver and wanted to just escape!  But how could I do that??  So instead I slowly pulled out a piece of paper and started to write a note to put under the windshield wipers.  But what to say??  Could I get away with writing an apology and “forgetting” to include info on how to contact me??  Very tempting, I admit.  But no, that wouldn’t be ok.

I finally finished my note and got out to put it under the windshield wiper.  Wouldn’t you know that’s exactly when the driver showed up.  I had to face her directly.  I showed her the mark and explained what happened and that I was just about to leave a note.  She looked closely and found that the red mark could be wiped off easily.  I was pretty sure I had seen a dent earlier but it wasn’t there when she rubbed the mark!

“No problem!  My husband can take care of this,” she said cheerfully.

“Are you sure???” I asked, hardly daring to believe that everything was ok afterall.  I told her that I had been tempted to just leave and that I almost did.  She said she was glad that I didn’t but that the door was fine and not to worry about it.

I didn’t go into the store.  I was still too ashamed and embarrassed that I actually struggled with this temptation.  This was one of those situations that I never thought would be a challenge if I actually faced it.

I don’t share this to take any credit for doing the right thing.  In my own strength and will, I realized I would have failed.  I don’t presume that this victory proves I will certainly overcome the next temptation that comes along.  My point in sharing this is to humbly acknowledge that I still have many lessons to learn, many more battles to face.  This experience is a reminder to myself (and anyone else) that even the things we think can’t really tempt us might surprise us in the moment.  People succumb to temptations all the time and then wonder how it happened.  Are we sometimes overconfident in our own abilities and willpower??  I know I encountered a lesson here…