Singleness

As the holidays approach, I hear more singles bemoan their singleness.  And while I don’t mean to downplay how lonely and difficult it can be for some, it seems to me there is a lot of “grass is greener” mentality.  There are times I don’t enjoy being single either but marriage isn’t always as rosy as it might look from the single-side.

There are plenty of things to appreciate about being single, during the holidays or not.  Here are just a few examples (in no particular order):

·         You don’t need to work your plans around a significant other.  If you feel like doing something at the last minute, that’s up to you.  If you change your mind on something, you don’t need to worry about how/if it affects a significant other.  You can avoid the whole discussion and negotiation of arranging and rearranging plans.  Even better, if you don’t have a significant other, he/she can’t get upset by the changes you propose.

·         One less person to get gifts for.   Whether it’s a matter of expense or just trying to figure out what someone would like, no significant other = one less person to worry about.

·         They say never to go to bed angry at your significant other.  Holidays can be stressful and tempers flare so this one can be rough for some married folks.  But when you’re single (holidays or not), this is an easy one to check off.  I suppose you might be mad at someone else, but not a significant other!

·         You can set the temperature however you like.  You don’t have to worry about a significant other complaining that it’s too hot or too cold.  And no one is stealing the covers or hogging your space in bed.  It’s all you, man.

·         You can make your own food choices without factoring in a spouse’s likes/dislikes/allergies.  If you decide to dine on an assortment of odds and ends from the cupboards or refrigerator because you don’t feel like preparing a real meal, feel free (though you might need to answer to your personal trainer or nutrition coach if you have one).  If you happen to be vegetarian, you don’t have to think about accommodating a non-existent carnivorous spouse.  If you feel like having a protein shake and calling it a meal, you don’t need to see if that works for a spouse you don’t have.  In fact, if you feel like eating at 2pm instead of noon on Saturday, oh the freedom in making that call!

·         You are free from spousal suffocation.  By this I mean that if there’s no spouse = he/she can’t be in your space all the time.  No one wanting affection or attention when you really don’t feel it.  No one talking when you just want silence.  No one crowding your space – physically, mentally, or emotionally.

OK, I admit that some of these are kinda silly and self-centered.  But the married side has plenty challenges of its own, including little things that can drive you crazy over time.  I’m not discounting that singleness can be hard too.  But if you’re single, appreciate the freedoms and independence you do have!  Start your own list of pros if you need to.  Just stop thinking the other side always has it better.