24 November 2013

Method vs motive

Love languages.  The concept that people show and perceive love in different ways.  This topic has come up several times recently among different people I know.

These languages are [in no particular order] words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.  I think we all have reasons and explanations for why our preferred love language is the most meaningful.  But my reasons don’t mean someone else’s is wrong.  Their own reasons are valid to them.

Anyway, I was thinking about how all of these love languages are meaningful when they’re done out of selflessness.  And how the most important love languages can be meaningless when expressed without sincerity.

For example, gift-giving is fairly low or even non-existent on my scale of love languages.  For the most part, I’m not too concerned about acquiring possessions.  Things can be bought and given without a genuine, caring thought.  But I would accept a thoughtful gift any day over insincerity in any of the other love languages.

No, I’m not saying this has happened and I’m definitely not saying anyone should buy me gifts, haha!!  I’m just reflecting on how I perceive love and that it has less to do with the method and much more to do with the motive.  And wondering how well I demonstrate the sincerity of my heart in my own expressions of love.  Do the people I love perceive genuine love and care in the ways I interact with them, regardless what their preferred love languages are?

I’m not saying that someone’s love language isn’t important as long as my motive is right.  Not at all.  I think it’s very important for me to understand and use the right love languages as much as possible.  But it is equally as important to be thoughtful and authentic in my expressions.  I hope that I am already but I would like to be more intentional about it.

Just some thoughts.

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